...yeah. Some people just aren't good at living. They're here in the moment, but their gaze is on their eventual grave.
[His chest feels tight even talking about it.]
I agreed to that promise because I thought it'd keep Nero from doin' anything stupid. That maybe he'd live long enough to work past the funk he was in. He was always like this but it wasn't nearly as bad before I got arrested. For 500 years, I was enough to keep his spirits up and keep that voice in his head quiet. But life just...changes, I guess.
When one has decided they have lived long enough, living becomes a burden.
[ It doesn't matter how bright the sun shines on high above. For people like that, the dawn will never come.
Blade knows intimately well because he is the same way. Still... ]
Life changes. And, perhaps, the circumstances with it. Our situation likely did not make it easy; having to witness despair and powerlessness personally and even from afar.
Sometimes, that is all it takes. [ ... ] Though, who knows what the future holds?
...yeah, you would understand, huh? You're long-lived, like we are.
[Bradley doesn't know if Blade is a wizard or something else, but his exact nature doesn't matter here. If someone lives long enough, then they Know.]
The crazy thing is, he's not even that old comparatively. The oldest of our kid have lived for over 2,000 years, we still got a lot of life left. But I guess that can be too much sometimes.
I just wish I understood it better. I don't feel like he does, so I'm not always helpful when he's havin' a bad day.
[ Doesn't mean short-lived species aren't subjected to it, but, well. You know. ]
Back on the Xianzhou Alliance, many may live to be well into a thousand or so years of age, though at some point there is the threat of eventually suffering from the consequences of such vitality. Complications that will change them from the inside and out.
As for him...I'm not surprised, given the differences in your personalities and perspectives. Should you have a second chance, you'll be able to contemplate solutions. Even if...staying by his side does something, despite the results it had here.
[Imagine if Bradley knew about the curse of Abundance.]
Well, we're kinda stuck with each other regardless. We're both Sage's wizards, so we're like co-workers.
[...]
We're gonna be the oldest before too long too. There's a few that are older, but they're all around 2,000 years old. One of 'em has already showed signs of slowin' down.
Though he imagines that 21 mages are probably quite a formidable force against threats in a myriad circumstances. ]
...Hm. Part of that almost sounds similar to being inflicted by mara; though, long-lived species would have the misfortune of gaining certain abilities instead.
Some magic catastrophe that threatens to destroy our world about once a year. We have to deal with it every time it pops up.
[Mara though. An infliction?]
I think it's just that a wizard's mind can only take in so much. Our lives ain't easy by any means. Go through enough trouble and eventually it starts to weigh on you.
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no subject
[ The fourth promise, wasn't it?
Blade recalls the trial with startingly clarity; given the details, and the people involved, perhaps it isn't too surprising. ]
They probably have the same opinion about us as well. They would undeniably have enough consciousness for that.
cw: depression and suicidal ideation mentions
[His chest feels tight even talking about it.]
I agreed to that promise because I thought it'd keep Nero from doin' anything stupid. That maybe he'd live long enough to work past the funk he was in. He was always like this but it wasn't nearly as bad before I got arrested. For 500 years, I was enough to keep his spirits up and keep that voice in his head quiet. But life just...changes, I guess.
continued cw
When one has decided they have lived long enough, living becomes a burden.
[ It doesn't matter how bright the sun shines on high above. For people like that, the dawn will never come.
Blade knows intimately well because he is the same way. Still... ]
Life changes. And, perhaps, the circumstances with it. Our situation likely did not make it easy; having to witness despair and powerlessness personally and even from afar.
Sometimes, that is all it takes. [ ... ] Though, who knows what the future holds?
continued cw
[Bradley doesn't know if Blade is a wizard or something else, but his exact nature doesn't matter here. If someone lives long enough, then they Know.]
The crazy thing is, he's not even that old comparatively. The oldest of our kid have lived for over 2,000 years, we still got a lot of life left. But I guess that can be too much sometimes.
I just wish I understood it better. I don't feel like he does, so I'm not always helpful when he's havin' a bad day.
no subject
[ Doesn't mean short-lived species aren't subjected to it, but, well. You know. ]
Back on the Xianzhou Alliance, many may live to be well into a thousand or so years of age, though at some point there is the threat of eventually suffering from the consequences of such vitality. Complications that will change them from the inside and out.
As for him...I'm not surprised, given the differences in your personalities and perspectives. Should you have a second chance, you'll be able to contemplate solutions. Even if...staying by his side does something, despite the results it had here.
no subject
Well, we're kinda stuck with each other regardless. We're both Sage's wizards, so we're like co-workers.
[...]
We're gonna be the oldest before too long too. There's a few that are older, but they're all around 2,000 years old. One of 'em has already showed signs of slowin' down.
no subject
Sage's wizards? Is he a head wizard of some sort, then?
[ He's just randomly guessing. Blade isn't exactly the type of person to be immersed in the explicit knowledge of witches or wizards. ]
...The usual signs of old age, like commonly displayed in short-lived species? Or, is it a more painful sort?
no subject
[At least his Sage crest has been visible a few times by now, most recently at the pool party.]
More painful sort, I think. Wizards just get weaker and lose their magic, and then they lose their minds.
no subject
[ Wizards gonna wizard.
Though he imagines that 21 mages are probably quite a formidable force against threats in a myriad circumstances. ]
...Hm. Part of that almost sounds similar to being inflicted by mara; though, long-lived species would have the misfortune of gaining certain abilities instead.
no subject
[Mara though. An infliction?]
I think it's just that a wizard's mind can only take in so much. Our lives ain't easy by any means. Go through enough trouble and eventually it starts to weigh on you.
no subject
[ Seems strange to have a catastrophe keeping popping up once a year and having it be the same... ]
Hmph. I suppose that's similar to how it is with the long-lived species that I know.
Though, it might also be due to the Aeon's 'blessing'.