[ Shattered; fractured, heard and vocalized in that tone. ]
...Yoru.
[ His voice will always be harsh, though he doesn't say it with that kind of intent. ]
If there is something you want to say. I'll listen.
[ He's bad at asking the right questions, but Yoru has been...unfathomably kind to him, so the best he can think is to offer an ear. They are both upset; two commonalities. He isn't strong by a mile, he has been relearning how to pick up his own pieces. Yet, he gets the feeling so has Yoru. Maybe, that can be better than sitting on the fragments; something he is starting to learn. ]
He isn't suited towards comfort. There isn't much he is suited towards even these days, other than being a blade. Also, around this time, he also has a wagasa with him...held at his side.
When he asks those words, he just falls silent for a moment, hesitant to respond. But, he does. ]
[ Blade remembers voicing these sentiments before; he closes his eyes in thought, committing to memory this well.
Those feelings haven't eroded just yet; not completely. ]
...I understand.
Actions can be—are at times worth more a thousand words.
[ And when it says it, it is simple; but in its straightforward form, it is also empathetic, tinged with feeling. He feels it. He can imagine it himself for him. It's strange, finding himself at a point where he continuously feels he has something in common with Yoru. But also feeling...content, he can do something for him, just by being who he is.
He hopes that for as long as he can; as long as they suffer here, until they're let go by death or escape, he can continue to do so. ]
[ his arms like a pillow on the solarium table, he nestles his head in them, turning slightly to look at blade. he looks faded, his colors bleached away by the sun. but relatively calm.
inside, he’s a storm. ]
But for the first time in a long time, I want to make it count.
[ actions are worth more than words. this time, it won’t be an indiscriminate kill. ]
no subject
[ young and like glass. as though any louder and he’d shatter with the weight of blade’s name. ]
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...Yoru.
[ His voice will always be harsh, though he doesn't say it with that kind of intent. ]
If there is something you want to say. I'll listen.
[ He's bad at asking the right questions, but Yoru has been...unfathomably kind to him, so the best he can think is to offer an ear. They are both upset; two commonalities. He isn't strong by a mile, he has been relearning how to pick up his own pieces. Yet, he gets the feeling so has Yoru. Maybe, that can be better than sitting on the fragments; something he is starting to learn. ]
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blade should give his kindness to someone else. ]
You do listen. Every single time, you listen. Did you know that? Do you realize what that means?
[ does blade think it means less just because he doesn’t know the right words? ]
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He isn't suited towards comfort. There isn't much he is suited towards even these days, other than being a blade. Also, around this time, he also has a wagasa with him...held at his side.
When he asks those words, he just falls silent for a moment, hesitant to respond. But, he does. ]
...No, I don't.
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[ likely blade was made like this, born with tenderness in his heart.
his other half is the same. ]
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But, it isn't true at all. ]
Kind isn't a word normally used to describe me.
[ He doesn't look or feel offended. Blade wonders if it's because he knows that for Yoru to say that, he at least appreciated the thought.
...then again, what he offered suggests he is capable of such things, isn't it? ]
cw: suicidal ideation
[ which sounds like it’s coming out of nowhere, his tone careless, but trust the process. ]
They don’t have to say anything. I might not even want kind words - or whatever. I just need them to be there.
[ a witness, perhaps. and that would be more kindness than he’ll ever deserve but that’s what he wants.
the point is: it is a kindness still. ]
cw: same
Those feelings haven't eroded just yet; not completely. ]
...I understand.
Actions can be—are at times worth more a thousand words.
[ And when it says it, it is simple; but in its straightforward form, it is also empathetic, tinged with feeling. He feels it. He can imagine it himself for him. It's strange, finding himself at a point where he continuously feels he has something in common with Yoru. But also feeling...content, he can do something for him, just by being who he is.
He hopes that for as long as he can; as long as they suffer here, until they're let go by death or escape, he can continue to do so. ]
no subject
I want to kill.
[ his arms like a pillow on the solarium table, he nestles his head in them, turning slightly to look at blade. he looks faded, his colors bleached away by the sun. but relatively calm.
inside, he’s a storm. ]
But for the first time in a long time, I want to make it count.
[ actions are worth more than words. this time, it won’t be an indiscriminate kill. ]
Would you help me?
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His hand drifts to his blade, fingers touching it. Blood spilling in his eyes, and he feels a steady heartbeat pulse.
He imagines a still-beating heart in his hand and crushes it underneath his fingers. Red seeps into his vision, before receding. ]
All I know is to kill. It's what a blade is for.
...We should think about this. And talk over it more elsewhere.
Unless, you're talking about killing Ish.
[ But, Blade doubts it.
...however, they may not be alone right now. He can't risk that in case someone overhears it.
Not for his own sake, because his life matters little. But for Yoru's. ]