[ Not very long at all! G'raha is punctual and he doesn't dillydally, showing up shortly after Blade arrives.
He looks much more... composed now, it seems. ]
Are you feeling all right?
[ It's the first thing that leaves his mouth, because it's his first concern above everything else. G'raha does consider them to be friends, whether Blade would admit to it or not. ]
[ Blade says simply. He is never feeling alright except the one day in this week where he was. ]
You saw what happened.
...Still curious, aren't you?
[ The display hardly answered many questions and Blade doesn't particularly care to reply to them, but since Dan Heng confessed, he has an interest in setting the record straight at least somewhere. ]
[ He very much is, and he'd readily blame his scholarly side on that. What is more fascinating than the unknown, especially after grasping bits and pieces of it and nothing more? ]
Surely there is more to the story than what I overheard.
Which is how people lost their lives. You said one of your actions was the catalyst.
[ Which has left him curious too, but G'raha knows that he should only take his curiosity so far. It doesn't seem to do Blade much good, not when he takes his own name so literally. ]
There was a forbidden technique. We performed it and that was against the laws of the Xianzhou.
Those actions were the catalyst.
[ It's a little disjointed, but there's something more. It seems that getting much out of him is indeed a difficulty when he is who he is, but it's fine.
There's a lopsided smile that even appears, and it looks like he's staring past G'raha rather than looking at him. Gazing into the past, however dangerous for him that is. ]
I don't remember much.
Imbibitor Lunae would know. Even if he can't remember by now. But, I was his accomplice. And, it had to do with immortality...and rebirth.
Perhaps someone's life. Though, I wouldn't remember who that was, either.
You seem to have a rather… troublesome time recalling these events.
[ If it’s traumatic, that makes sense. But that smile tells G’raha that it’s a little bit more than that—or a much deeper scar than it seems on the surface. ]
[ It remains because unsettling vibes just are not going to go away after earlier's mini-shitshow. ]
My memory is not what it once was.
And it may be that way forever.
...Ever since the incident.
[ Dan Heng's is also messed up, but in a decisively different way than his - and Blade doesn't fully comprehend what exactly is going on his end regarding that, unfortunately. ]
[ Blade goes quiet because Lan knows how long it's been before someone has said that (literally never, actually) and he doesn't care to bother to say things like 'don't pity me' because he's more of a depressed man than a prideful one. ]
I remember waking up.
...Because of your reaction. It sticks with me.
Though, after what happened today, what some people have said I can barely recall.
[ He definitely had an unfortunate episode that affected his recollection of today's events, so it can effect recent memories...debilitating mental episodes for the win. ]
[ After the ordeal of a death, investigation, midnight trial and morning execution, the last thing G’raha can do is sleep. The thought of laying in bed makes him restless, enough so that he makes his way out to the gardens. Perhaps some flowers can distract him from the horror of it all, even if only for a moment.
Blade must have had the same idea, because G’raha manages to spot him in the gardens too, and he finds himself surprised.
[ Not back when they were playing cards, and not just now. Will he let G’raha do as he pleases, then, and consider him a friend?
But Blade doesn’t linger on the subject, so neither does G’raha. His attention turns back to the rosebush next to him, reaching out to touch one of the soft petals of a particularly pink rose. ]
Indeed it does. Am I so easy to read?
[ He doesn’t wait for Blade to answer that. ]
I have seen my fair share of death and destruction. I have seen it as a result of spell work and war. And yet this… this angers me in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
[ Blade doesn't bother asking him not to. He assumes it's useless, like how it is in telling certain members of the Stellaron Hunters not to give him certain nicknames.
Or...like...dragging him into video games, or...shopping sprees (don't ask)
He just assumes that G'raha is cut from the same cloth in regards to such kind of persistent behavior. ]
Very easy.
[ He answers anyway.
There's a long moment of silence, and then, he says something familiar— ]
[ It isn't fair, but sometimes that's how things are— ]
...Wouldn't be surprised.
[ But, what does Blade know? He can't. Not really, even given the enormity of what has happened - the potential shock and horror displayed upon people's faces in the wake of that execution. Of that death.
No, he thinks in fact that G'raha has a point indeed. At this thought, he snatches up a red rose, begins to pluck every petal mercilessly from its place. ]
Not giving us answers only breeds uncertainty. It may eventually crest into paranoia.
[ He is forced to stop plucking the last petal...and so, also falls silent. ]
Is it kindness? Or because you simply know better?
[ G'raha has lived for a very long time, after all. Though, he knows that the gentleness is not necessarily a weakness; those who can do what needs to be done and remain kind are stronger than most would give credit for. ]
A few individuals I had the misfortune of meeting while working for a city-state.
[ Difficult leaders, that sort of thing. ]
There are several that stand out, however. The Ascians are by far the most difficult individuals I’ve come upon. They worked to sow chaos and destruction with the sole purpose of reuniting our star. [ He crosses his arms. ] ‘Twould have caused billions of deaths, of which we simply could not allow.
[ Difficult leaders, eh? Somehow that doesn't surprise Blade, especially because of the fact that he's mentioned having a grand duty before - which, on its own sounds fantastical enough. Even if he doesn't have every single aspect, he believes he was told enough.
But, in regards to the Ascians, another question bubbles to the surface... ]
Did you have to kill them?
[ ...disagreements do not necessarily equate to killings, but also they are things that can happen nonetheless. ]
[ Which is why he finds a bit of it almost completely surprising, but...
There were signs that he feels meant the man wouldn't necessarily be completely against pursuing that course of action. ]
Sometimes, the only way to stop someone is to kill them.
[ ... ]
They gave you no other choice. It was either them or practically your own world. [ With so many dying, that to Blade speaks to it being the world at stake, as far as he's concerned. ] Forcing your hand at that point would have been easy.
'Twas a shame. I could understand their actions and the desire to have their loved ones back at their side. However, ending the lives of countless individuals was not the means they should have employed.
[ Even if there were no other means. They should have accepted their loss, even as all-consuming as it was. ]
...The motivation to bring a loved one back from the dead can be the quickest way to bring pain and despair.
It can push someone to create a sin where they must pay a heavy price. On the Xianzhou, the act they committed would have been considered an unpardonable sin.
[ ...
He doesn't remember his time as that craftsman much, but he knows that part of the reason he became like this is because the loss of someone's life. He thinks...that part of it was that attempt at bringing back the dead; though, trying to recall gives him a headache, so he lets the grab at memories slide away. ]
I agree. There... is no means of bringing someone back that is without consequence. Mayhap that is why so many try and put their all into their attempts, hopeful that the outcome will be different for them.
Attachment can never be easily destroyed. For better or worse.
[ People's hearts are fundamentally weak. Sentimentality will destroy them, at times...
...or save them. But he doesn't think of himself of the latter. He knows of all the worst that he is capable of. Though a part of him wonders if some day he can be at least a little stronger. Even if he doubts it.
He wonders if G'raha doubts his own strength. But, whatever the case... ]
...I'll leave the rest of the day to you. I've never been much good at lightening the mood.
[ Blade isn't much of a talker - never has been - and so, he will move to depart from the gardens. ]
[ G'raha do you wanna fight him? He's ready to go. He'll 1v1 you any time, let's go!
Blade crosses his arms in hearing this, though, even if he doesn't raise a brow. ]
...And why is that?
[ He'll ask gruffly, but go to plops himself down at a desk as if to make a statement that says 'I am a regular occupant of this space'...sometimes, anyway. ]
[ And G'raha will move over to sit at that same desk across from him, looking Blade up and down to analyze his body language. Yeah, definitely the kind of guy who fits right in at a library. ]
I don't picture you as the sort to sit down and read a tale or two.
[ Blade's lips curl upward into a little smirk as he watches the tiny breakdown before his very eyes. ]
I'm uncertain what an Archon is. Enlighten me.
...Though, you don't look to have been selecting anything to read. Unless it was to engage in unique research on how to do the exact opposite of studying.
[ ...Blade hadn't expected there to be two titles presented here.
Well, he supposes he did ask. Considering the response, though? He does so happen to note that there's that pride. One he seems to like better over the other. ]
[ That's a strange thing for him to hear someone say - but, G'raha who once had a similar outlook towards him on life, seems to have conquered many such hurdles.
And rare does he see those who are able to look ahead, leaving the past as the past. Even among the Stellaron Hunters, that remains the case. ]
...Considering how you have been, your answer doesn't surprise me.
[ The one that almost turned into an argument, he means. ]
I've no option but to leave the past behind. While I still carry my experiences within my heart, if I wanted to follow through on my desire to press forward, it was imperative I let many of my responsibilities go.
[ He looks at Blade for a long, long moment, bewilderment clear on his face. His eyes are wide, his lips are parted slightly, and his ears are flat against his head. ]
I...
[ G'raha's hand rubs along his forearm. A nervous habit. ]
You think too highly of me. I should rightfully caution you to temper your expectations of me.
[ There is a slight smile which on his face might look like it has no business being there. ]
Are they? Never imagined someone would say that of whatever words I had to give.
[ But, apparently this is the case.
Blade's more or less truthfully someone who doesn't hold back his opinions; though he is to the point about them in the first place. ]
...But, this time I know I didn't say anything unpleasant. If you think that way, the disappointment that eventually arrives from my future conduct will be worse. Though, for now, it isn't.
As I said before, Blade, only I am able to measure my disappointment.
[ And he'll worry about what-ifs when they happen. Fretting over it now serves neither of them, he thinks, and it's why he offers a gentle smile rather than a harsh or scolding tone like before. ]
I did have a topic I was hoping to broach with you, if you would hear of it.
[ Blade has...somewhat learned his lesson in that by now, beyond the practicality of not belaboring the matter, naturally, so he will say this; and, well, he is making some motions through how to interact with people (character development, maybe. Who knows.) But, on the other matter, he is a bit curious. ]
On my star, a friend and I worked on a condition known as "tempering." Said condition occurs when a primal—a god, if you will—exerts their will on an individual. Those impacted by tempering can only think of their god and nothing else. They lose their personhood.
[ He lifts a hand to his chin. ]
Alisaie had transferred this treatment from the reflection of our star, where she treated individuals who were slowly losing their personhood and would eventually transform into a monster. [ He looks up at Blade. ] Both of these conditions were treatable by the method we uncovered.
So... I was wondering if this would be of interest to you. I wonder if it could uncover some of your memories.
[ G'raha pauses, sits back in his chair. ]
I apologize if I am overstepping, but I could not help but think back to this treatment as I pondered on your condition.
[ If Blade had heard this from the start of his stay here, he would have rejected it, mocked him, and even derided such words. It isn't that he has suddenly immediately turned a leaf in all of the things that he is - he has a lot wrong with him - but, he is realizing that, besides the Stellaron Hunters, he hasn't had people genuinely try to help him.
Not to say things weren't rough, that he didn't...uh, explode pretty hard here or there, or something, but the fact that he sit here and listen to it at all means something. ]
...I don't understand how it works.
[ He is curious about the more intricate details of it. ]
Recalling my memories isn't normally a good idea. It tends to exacerbate my condition.
[ Mara, that is. Granted he has other complications like phantom pains, and all that too, but Mara is at the forefront of it all. ]
Kafka had a way to suppress that condition. If there was a method I could use to do that or, in the extreme unlikelihood, be rid of it entirely, this 'tempering'...would potentially be of benefit.
'Twould be a treatment using magic. We feed the proper spell into your body in an attempt to flush out the symptoms of your condition.
[ He crosses his arms. ]
I will have to do my own research on the spell, as well as run tests to ensure that it would work and not exacerbate your symptoms. [ A pause. ] I would not run these tests on you.
The process is gradual. You likely will not feel anything new after two or three sessions.
[ There's a moment where there is a lopsided smile. ]
...Good.
[ Now he is even more inclined to accept this. Due to other personal, unhealthy reasons haven't exactly vaporized completely as of yet. He doesn't say anything else on the matter. ]
I've decided. I would like to try this method of yours out...should we both live.
After all, there is no guarantee of anything before then.
[ Blade supposes he'll be potentially mentioning this to Dan Heng.
Whatever happens, he is an important facet to his life. ]
...I don't think I deserve this much thought.
But, I know what you would say, so don't worry about wasting your breath.
[ A little sly smile. Blade is saying in his own words he is kind of grateful. He's a difficult man; and he still thinks he'll make G'raha regret his association with him, but...the red-haired man is continuously persistent in ways he is familiar with - once again - and doesn't mind too much. ]
G'raha is, in fact, about to waste his breath and go on about friendship and what it means to him, so he quickly closes his mouth just after it opens. ]
Then I will not. So, I will instead give you some parting optimism.
[ Blade looks at G'raha for a really long moment when he hears this; though he looks something like amused when he noticed that he was about to open his mouth to talk the lengths of friendship.
...He thinks, maybe, a certain someone was like that too. That person he's thinking of is no longer in the mortal coil, but that kind of exuberance matches the same kind by far. ]
I had a feeling you would say that.
Maybe things will be different now.
[ Blade then moves to the library's exit. ]
I suppose since I'll be depending upon you just a little...I'll have to remind you to do the same of me at some point.
[ He quickly leaves before he can be called a soft friend or something, but these are words that he said. ]
[ Blade is now in a shitty mood and wants to kill things that are Ish-shaped - it was high when he arrived and went to a low-key sort of feels, but now it is somewhere above-average once again.
...Instead, though, he goes to the observatory, and happens to spot G'raha.
Ah, he remembers this place. It's...the first night he spent with Siffrin. Alongside Dan Heng and Andrew.
...
It's not going to be easy, going forward, is it? ]
...G'raha.
[ He says his name first this time, to get his attention. ]
[ He figures the studying must be a way to simply keep busy; in the face of everything, it isn't unexpected. ]
...Raha.
[ Blade repeats the name just so after that, testing its weight, the novelty of speaking it. He understands the significance - in Xianzhou culture there are more familiar ways to address people, depending. And although much of his memory as his time on the Xianzhou has faded, he is vaguely aware of this.
Who knew two weeks could cause such great change? But, he certainly feels that so happens to be the case here. ]
[ That's much better. For a moment, he feels like he's being addressed by Krile back home, one of the only fellow scholars in the School of Baldesion that calls him Raha. ]
Making an attempt.
[ But focusing is hard between the subject of the execution and the events during. His thoughts race and his mind can barely keep up, to the point that the numbers and words on the scrolls turn into nothing meaningful. ]
[ Just looked up this person and was super amused to see how small she is. Blade has no idea he is being compared to a tiny scholar. But, it's fine.
He gestures instead towards the telescope. ]
Taking a look towards the sky might distract better than scrolls.
[ Blade is...actually for once trying to lend a hand. He doesn't think it'll work, but there is something to be said for making an attempt. Even if it will amount to nothing.
Such to that point, he answers G'raha's question just fine. ]
I was restless. Keeping busy is the only way to try to reach something like the illusion of satisfaction. Even if it will be far from my reach.
...As long as we can ensure that nothing like this ever occurs again, whatever may come to pass afterward will come to pass.
[ G'raha will always allow for mercy when a party intends to abide by the rules of said mercy, but he wouldn't blame anyone who chose to kill Ish either. ]
[ Blade isn't as merciful as G'raha, but to expect everyone to be on the same page is impossible.
...Though, that doesn't change his perspective on him. Not in the slightest. So, he lets out at first a dark chuckle to G'raha's initial response, knowing the other man disagrees with his methods. But at the second comment... ]
You're being overly optimistic again.
[ A little smile, despite the little bit of mania a short bit ago, though. His moods change like the wind; but he can't help that aspect. ]
Maybe...if you keep at it, everyone else will be convinced to do the same. There isn't much to be done if people keep acting, but I know as part of a team, morale is important. With the Stellaron Hunters, we were balanced by keeping our wits about us - and even if I couldn't always manage it, our minds clear.
[ Blade can't believe he's saying this. He will absolutely deny it himself in public, though. ]
[ Blade... being encouraging? It's more likely than you think!
It's definitely more than G'raha ever anticipated, his eyes widening and his ears flicking slightly. ]
My hope is that everyone would follow suit, but like you, I have my doubts. [ He smiles, somewhat sheepish. ] I have held leadership roles before, but this is quite different. Ensuring that morale remains high will be difficult, and understandably so. We've lost an innocent, after all.
[ Not only morale, but he knows there's tension that permeates the group too. He can see it during trials, sense it during other interactions. ]
I have no hope that in a few days' time we won't see another body. But mayhap we can end this cycle not long after.
[ Enjoy it while it lasts, G'raha, especially because the future is apparently looking pretty grissly...closes eyes.
Anyway, Blade's more or less in a space of some sort - what happened still isn't so distant, but it's balanced out by the fact that the showing of willpower indicated they're not powerless. Something bittersweet, although initially frustrating in of itself, but still tangible. ]
It'll take awhile.
[ For some people's spirits to bounce back. Some may not do so at all and he recognizes this. He isn't a fool. He can't be. And...he knows what happened recently did well in causing animosity to form. Still. ]
As for ending the cycle, that will depend on the mindset of others. What will convince everyone most is playing along isn't worth it.
[ That, perhaps, more than anything, may be the hardest challenge to clear. But, well, Blade would like to say spite more than hope is what compels him right now. ]
You are right. It will take a while. To say my spirit hasn't been dampened would be a lie.
[ Watching Siffrin die after their last meeting was... nearly more than he could handle, and it was only made bearable by Siffrin's own demonstration of willpower in managing to illustrate that Ish was not infallible or indestructible. ]
As for what would convince everyone else... I do not know. I fear we may be too far gone to expect nothing to happen after what we witnessed. Yet I believe we will break this cycle nevertheless. We must.
[ Blade remembers stepping into the observatory and seeing G'raha initially so caught up in his work. But he knew what working to distract oneself looked like...
And okay, admittedly, he wasn't the person in Stellaron Hunters to get people to be happy or motivated. But, he doesn't need to be anything different.
He thinks...he just needs to be himself. ]
Not surprised even yours was down.
[ Even so, he says this. G'raha's tough spirit is what helped him truck along, probably. ]
...I'm not good at convincing anyone of anything. At best, I'm a weapon.
But, I've done intelligence gathering on orders before. Maybe, if I focus my efforts there and spread what I learn, that can convince others, and they would be able to move on to their own plans from there. [ He huffs. ] Sounds naive, but it's the best plan I have.
And I'm no strategist, either.
[ Blade looks at G'raha as he says this. Ironically, he supposes it's a loose plan. Empowering people to take action with knowledge; maybe in the end, someone can come up with a solution that helps them do something. It...might be enough to circle around to helping in breaking the cycle, but he's still not the type to say hope springs eternal. ]
Naive or not... the idea that you would do so much warms my heart nevertheless, friend.
[ And if the soft smile that blooms over his face certainly expresses his sincerity. ]
I would be honored to assist you as well. 'Tis important that we do everything in our power to ensure that we break this cycle. I would like to save as many as we can... even if I have no inkling where to begin.
[ A gruff response, yet he is trying to handle such expressions with grace in his own way. Though...he's glad he can make him smile. That gentle spot of happiness is a good sign - however, he refuses to become too sentimental here. ]
Then...we'll continue to navigate this together.
I won't accept no results from our efforts.
[ It's like accepting a long version of a mission as a Stellaron Hunter. Come to think of it, if he's visiting that place for a bit, he supposes G'raha might meet them someday. Just an idle thought. ]
Blade looks at G'raha for a moment - especially when he mentions the part about him not liking losing. It gives rise to something like a spark of amusement, perhaps. Or, somehow, encouragement. ]
Not right now.
Even if giving up is easy.
[ But, funny enough, there is no intention of that on his end, despite, you know what lies ahead in the future. ]
But, I don't intend to lose. Like a fight or a mission. And those, I give it my all. This will be no different.
Funny, he never thought too much about how many crimes he's committed as a Stellaron Hunter. But here, it'd be doing something otherwise. ]
...It should be.
[ An echo of his previous self's arrogance - or maybe just plain good confidence. ]
Looking forward to your efforts as well. You said you'll give it your all too. You seem to get noteworthy results. So, it will be disappointing if you suddenly started to slack.
[ He... really likes this encouragement, honestly. There's something especially uplifting about it coming from Blade, like G'raha has truly earned this side of him.
It's nice. It makes the sting of the trial and the execution and all of its aftermath a little less painful. ]
You really put a large amount of faith in me, friend. I only hope that I can live up to the high standard you have set.
[ G'raha's deserved it, more or less. So, congratulations on that.
Blade's...grateful to G'raha for so many things. Even if it has only been two weeks, the man has done more for him than some people he has known longer than the red head.
Though, he thinks this all isn't conditionally based on owing a debt. It feels natural. ]
...We'll see.
[ Blade adds, though, with a little playful smirk and a slight tease, but good-hearted all the while. Though, around this time he begins to inquire to the other if he has found any intriguing books on craftsmanship...and whatever light conversation they have, he will engage until they part ways.
[ G'raha is deep in a book regarding art history when he can hear Blade approach him.
It's too bad he's in one of the corners of the library and he is, very literally, cornered. It takes a moment or two for him to be pulled out of his book, but Blade speaking and announcing his presence at all is enough to do that. ]
Seems like going right for it is the right method, because even though G'raha's tail flicks in a way that betrays his hesitance, he eventually sighs and looks up at Blade. ]
Ah. I should have predicted you would consult me over it.
[ He smiles, sheepish and yet amused all the same, as he shuts his book. ]
'Tis recent history. That photo was from last Saturday.
Hiding a personal photo involving someone else, immediate puzzle pieces begin to slot into place. Plus, he looked away like how Dan Heng does when he gets embarrassed.
He can conclude only one thing: ]
Now I understand why they asked me about the color red.
[ Blade holds up a hand and turns away. He's about actually a second from bursting into laughter (that would still sound quite dark) and not sounding unhinged.
He's fine with Blade laughing. It's preferable to his mania by far. ]
To speak honestly, Blade, my own feelings caught me by surprise. I carried a torch for a friend that remains home, and I have carried it for so long that it nearly burdened me.
[ Finally deciding to stop busying himself with putting that book away, he turns around to look at Blade properly. ]
I was content with remaining friends. [ A pause. ] With the Warrior of Light, I mean. Yet there was always some sort of obstacle that would hold me back.
[ The Warrior of Light has many burdens, pining for someone for over a century is not exactly healthy, feeling small next to someone so important and well-loved...
He had many reasons. ]
Strange that I did not feel that same hesitation with Siffrin, in spite of all of the qualities they both share.
But, he sure is listening. Oh, the kitty cat had something of a crush, huh...?
Though, it sounded complex. Complicated, even.
The Warrior of Light does not sound like a title nor a mantle that is worn by just anybody. And it must have quite a bit of history to accompany it. ]
...It could be different, because there's a different history. And, a layered one.
[ The pull is nevertheless never so much less than the one G'raha felt towards Warrior of Light, but he thinks the experiences might have been a big difference. ]
I'm not an expert in the heart. Even if it could be enough.
...But, it's good it's Siffrin. They'll treat you well.
[ Blade doesn't have to put a sword at their throat and threaten Siffrin to treat G'raha well. Bullet dodged there as well. ]
[ Blade is right. His connection with Siffrin wasn't wrought by a century of waiting and a pedestal that he felt he could never reach. There's something more equal about their bond, even if Siffrin is a complicated puzzle in a pattern he's never seen before.
As a scholar, he craves the adventure that comes from it. ]
Indeed. [ He smiles, slightly, but it disappears soon after. ] My only hope is that we can free him and the rest of those that have perished. I certainly overstayed my welcome in the Reflexion after the carnival, but 'twas still not nearly enough time.
[ Blade can tell that for G'raha this bond is something that lights a flame in his heart - or something decidedly romantic. Look, he has recently gotten to know what that is like himself - and unfortunately, he is finding himself knowing what it means to be a side character in a romantic story with horror elements.
...Or maybe that is unfortunately his mind getting away from himself when he is indulging in levity. What are these people doing to him... ]
...Doubt he minded you overstaying. Just ask him.
[ He says this without a semblance of doubt in him. ]
Truth is, I'm not sure how to free or save them. I haven't done anything like that before. Like this, before.
But, wouldn't be surprised if it isn't impossible to free trapped spirits.
[ It'd be like those exorcist stories on the Xianzhou. Not that he reads them! But he knows they exist. ]
[ His tail swishes a little at that, mild embarrassment radiating from the movement. He hopes that Siffrin didn't mind. ]
I believe Sabo mentioned something akin to the dead being located somewhere within the mirrors, and Yoonhee's information about various reflections seemed to corroborate it. I imagine our clues lie there. Although how we are meant to breach those reflections is another story entirely.
There could be a way of entry we don't know at the moment.
Since this space is unstable.
[ It'd make sense to him. Find a spot that'd make them able to enter - like, you know, safely? But Blade is willing to take risks. He's always been about that (even if Dan Heng is probably ratshaking him from afar for being like this.) ]
And I never considered you one either, friend. Though you did underestimate me upon our first meeting, I imagine your view of me has since been adjusted.
[ But there's a teasing undercurrent to his tone. ]
Between the both of us, I imagine we will see things through regardless of the danger involved. 'Twould be nothing I haven't faced before, certainly, and I'm sure the same can be applied to you.
Then he closes it, before crossing his arms. He realizes he's being teased here. ]
...I have no idea what you're talking about.
[ Blade is briefly pouting again...he doesn't know why he reacts like this whenever he is teased, but he just can't help it. Anyway. ]
I'd say you're right. But I can't say I experienced being tossed into a place where I was encouraged to kill people and be duplicitous about it before this.
[ He thinks...he tried to joke, though his humor still sucks. So: ]
...The other potential dangers, though. Yes. Dangerous supernatural phenomena can be conquered with enough thought and skill.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 1, wednesday
Regardless if he flipped his shit or whatnot, he seems to be somewhat calmer now.
How long does he have to wait for the cat boy to show up? ]
no subject
He looks much more... composed now, it seems. ]
Are you feeling all right?
[ It's the first thing that leaves his mouth, because it's his first concern above everything else. G'raha does consider them to be friends, whether Blade would admit to it or not. ]
no subject
[ Blade says simply. He is never feeling alright except the one day in this week where he was. ]
You saw what happened.
...Still curious, aren't you?
[ The display hardly answered many questions and Blade doesn't particularly care to reply to them, but since Dan Heng confessed, he has an interest in setting the record straight at least somewhere. ]
no subject
[ He very much is, and he'd readily blame his scholarly side on that. What is more fascinating than the unknown, especially after grasping bits and pieces of it and nothing more? ]
Surely there is more to the story than what I overheard.
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A long time ago...that man and I conspired to break one of the Xianzhou's laws. Recalling all of the details is a fool's errand.
[ And unwise, because of other matters. Not like he could entirely even if he did his best, though. ]
It all went wrong.
[ There's a start, at least. Even if Blade is the world's shittiest storyteller, at times. ]
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[ Which has left him curious too, but G'raha knows that he should only take his curiosity so far. It doesn't seem to do Blade much good, not when he takes his own name so literally. ]
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There was a forbidden technique. We performed it and that was against the laws of the Xianzhou.
Those actions were the catalyst.
[ It's a little disjointed, but there's something more. It seems that getting much out of him is indeed a difficulty when he is who he is, but it's fine.
Or is it? ]
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There's something strange about Blade and his instincts tell him that it might start here, with that incident and the forbidden technique. ]
A forbidden technique. Why did you feel the need to perform it?
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There's a lopsided smile that even appears, and it looks like he's staring past G'raha rather than looking at him. Gazing into the past, however dangerous for him that is. ]
I don't remember much.
Imbibitor Lunae would know. Even if he can't remember by now. But, I was his accomplice. And, it had to do with immortality...and rebirth.
Perhaps someone's life. Though, I wouldn't remember who that was, either.
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You seem to have a rather… troublesome time recalling these events.
[ If it’s traumatic, that makes sense. But that smile tells G’raha that it’s a little bit more than that—or a much deeper scar than it seems on the surface. ]
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My memory is not what it once was.
And it may be that way forever.
...Ever since the incident.
[ Dan Heng's is also messed up, but in a decisively different way than his - and Blade doesn't fully comprehend what exactly is going on his end regarding that, unfortunately. ]
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[ How far does this extend? It sounds like it may be the full extent of Blade's memory, but he wants to make sure. ]
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[ ... ]
I can't recall much beyond vague impressions. Even worse when it gets before that point.
[ It definitely is just about the full extent of his memories. ]
There may be exceptions, at times. But, those are far and few in between.
[ And there is no guarantee he will obtain the recollection of even recalling that in the first place. It's very messy. ]
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[ And knowing that Blade is long-lived... does he not recall his own childhood? ]
Even your memories of waking up in this mansion. Is that a vague impression as well?
[ He wants to know—does it extend to recent memories too? ]
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[ Blade goes quiet because Lan knows how long it's been before someone has said that (literally never, actually) and he doesn't care to bother to say things like 'don't pity me' because he's more of a depressed man than a prideful one. ]
I remember waking up.
...Because of your reaction. It sticks with me.
Though, after what happened today, what some people have said I can barely recall.
[ He definitely had an unfortunate episode that affected his recollection of today's events, so it can effect recent memories...debilitating mental episodes for the win. ]
I might recall it better after some time.
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[ Honestly, he doesn't know! It's a little bit embarrassing to think about. ]
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[ Blade doesn't say anything here because it seems like he doesn't seem like the type to answer those questions normally.
But, his expression looks kind of amused to suggest an answer? Maybe? ]
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You are not supposed to be amused by it!
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Too late.
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Well... I suppose I would much rather see you amused than angry or upset.
[ He frowns, though it's not that serious. ]
Even if it happens to be at the cost of my dignity.
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[ Blade says so ever dramatically. This is your lot in life, G'raha. ]
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[ His frown quickly transforms into a little smile, and he has half a mind to elbow Blade in the side. ]
You’re a tad mischievous.
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[ Blade points out. Only to say: ]
The circumstances just made it easy.
[ He is not helping his case here he knows, but still...nah, he hasn't got nothing. This time. ]
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What, pray tell, are these circumstances? Your overall mood is certainly not like it was when we played cards.
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But, I think it would be better if you figured it out.
[ Blade simply says before walking towards him - then, walking by him, and moving to exit the observatory, putting an end to their chat for now.
...why is he like this. ]
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[ He’s a scholar, after all!!
But Blade leaves so all G’raha can do is call out after him. Wow, so mysterious… ]
week 1, post-execution
Blade must have had the same idea, because G’raha manages to spot him in the gardens too, and he finds himself surprised.
But only for a moment. ]
It seems as if we had the same idea, my friend.
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Maybe he too is feeling restless, but he would deny it. Why should he? None of it really concerns him at the end of the day - who died, that is.
A cruel thought, but Blade never considered himself a kind person. ]
...friend...
No one dares call me that anymore.
[ Reaping the consequences of letting G'raha call him such at this very moment. There's a moment of silence, but it ends when he comments again. ]
...It troubles you. What happened.
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[ Not back when they were playing cards, and not just now. Will he let G’raha do as he pleases, then, and consider him a friend?
But Blade doesn’t linger on the subject, so neither does G’raha. His attention turns back to the rosebush next to him, reaching out to touch one of the soft petals of a particularly pink rose. ]
Indeed it does. Am I so easy to read?
[ He doesn’t wait for Blade to answer that. ]
I have seen my fair share of death and destruction. I have seen it as a result of spell work and war. And yet this… this angers me in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
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Or...like...dragging him into video games, or...shopping sprees (don't ask)
He just assumes that G'raha is cut from the same cloth in regards to such kind of persistent behavior. ]
Very easy.
[ He answers anyway.
There's a long moment of silence, and then, he says something familiar— ]
Intent carries its own weight.
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He laughs softly at those words, exhaustion layered underneath it. He's tired in a way he hasn't felt in a long while. ]
Mm, that it does. This is meant to horrify us, to turn us against one another.
[ His fingers let go of that rose petal. ]
And it's meant to complete a spell, too. The tension that brews between everyone is only a benefit, I'm certain.
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...Wouldn't be surprised.
[ But, what does Blade know? He can't. Not really, even given the enormity of what has happened - the potential shock and horror displayed upon people's faces in the wake of that execution. Of that death.
No, he thinks in fact that G'raha has a point indeed. At this thought, he snatches up a red rose, begins to pluck every petal mercilessly from its place. ]
Not giving us answers only breeds uncertainty. It may eventually crest into paranoia.
It's what will suit him in the end.
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Indeed. Paranoia will drive others to kill out of a sense of self-preservation.
[ With a sigh he reaches out for the rose before Blade can pluck its last petal. ]
Thankfully, I am not easily driven to paranoia.
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Is it kindness? Or because you simply know better?
[ G'raha has lived for a very long time, after all. Though, he knows that the gentleness is not necessarily a weakness; those who can do what needs to be done and remain kind are stronger than most would give credit for. ]
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I know better. I doubt I could say it could be attributed to kindness.
[ Even though he doesn't like to kill unless it's necessary, he has killed before. ]
'Tis not to say I clamor for death otherwise, but I do know that acts of violence occur for an array of reasons.
[ Self defense, desperation... intent certainly means a lot. ]
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...sounds like a bit of kindness too.
[ His words are at least a little bit petulant. Maybe because he was stopped from doing something kind of minorly destructive.
He doesn't explain why he said his words, either. ]
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Care to elaborate, friend?
[ He’s gonna get that explanation!!! ]
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[ Wow, Blade is suddenly being contrary all of a sudden!! ]
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[ He's got his arms crossed and everything right now. Yes, he's absolutely scolding Blade. ]
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What did he do to deserve this... ]
Hmph. I don't remember how to grant basic courtesies.
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[ Which, like. Fair enough. But he's going to make Blade admit it. ]
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...I don't see a point in being 'courteous'.
[ Yeah, he'll admit to it after a bit. He is pretty bad at obfuscation, anyway. ]
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Not even to make those you like happy?
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...Which is just regular-flavor sullen Blade. That's the price. ]
No.
They will be forced to deal with myself as I am.
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'Tis not a terrible thing, that.
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Many wouldn't dare to say so.
[ Because he's got rabies (he's crazy) ]
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I like you as you are right before me.
[ Which is true, and he still likes Blade despite their little tiff in the suite.
Blade doesn’t scare him. ]
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Then, he imparts him a genuinely amused look - he thought the tiff was enough to cause a riff. But, the reality surprises him even more. ]
...you must be crazy.
[ DON'T BE RUDE, BLADE- ]
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[ Blade looks amused, so he’s taking this as a win. ]
We may disagree on some things, but disagreement breeds opportunity. I learned that lesson long, long ago.
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...Opportunity.
Did you meet someone very disagreeable?
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I’ve met an assortment of disagreeable individuals.
[ Extremely vague, but Blade has probably noticed this little habit by now—G’raha keeps things vague if he can.
That, of course, doesn’t mean he can’t be called out. ]
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...Like who?
[ Blade is, indeed, going to go ahead and call out G'raha.
Apparently, when he's been vague enough it does at least get him to be relatively curious. ]
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[ Difficult leaders, that sort of thing. ]
There are several that stand out, however. The Ascians are by far the most difficult individuals I’ve come upon. They worked to sow chaos and destruction with the sole purpose of reuniting our star. [ He crosses his arms. ] ‘Twould have caused billions of deaths, of which we simply could not allow.
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But, in regards to the Ascians, another question bubbles to the surface... ]
Did you have to kill them?
[ ...disagreements do not necessarily equate to killings, but also they are things that can happen nonetheless. ]
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We did. We had no other choice. Surely you know some can only be stopped through death.
[ G’raha lets out a soft sigh. ]
We have had to kill many. I have had to kill. Such is the way of the star I hail from.
[ He looks at Blade. Does that surprise him? ]
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[ Which is why he finds a bit of it almost completely surprising, but...
There were signs that he feels meant the man wouldn't necessarily be completely against pursuing that course of action. ]
Sometimes, the only way to stop someone is to kill them.
[ ... ]
They gave you no other choice. It was either them or practically your own world. [ With so many dying, that to Blade speaks to it being the world at stake, as far as he's concerned. ] Forcing your hand at that point would have been easy.
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[ Even if it means killing. ]
Would that we could have befriended the Ascians instead, but that was not meant to be.
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...No, it wasn't.
[ ... ]
And, good riddance.
[ Blade doesn't see a point in saying otherwise. It's an issue of survival at that point, than anything else. ]
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[ He lets out a soft sigh. ]
'Twas a shame. I could understand their actions and the desire to have their loved ones back at their side. However, ending the lives of countless individuals was not the means they should have employed.
[ Even if there were no other means. They should have accepted their loss, even as all-consuming as it was. ]
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...The motivation to bring a loved one back from the dead can be the quickest way to bring pain and despair.
It can push someone to create a sin where they must pay a heavy price. On the Xianzhou, the act they committed would have been considered an unpardonable sin.
[ ...
He doesn't remember his time as that craftsman much, but he knows that part of the reason he became like this is because the loss of someone's life. He thinks...that part of it was that attempt at bringing back the dead; though, trying to recall gives him a headache, so he lets the grab at memories slide away. ]
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[ It never is, he's certain. ]
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Attachment can never be easily destroyed. For better or worse.
[ People's hearts are fundamentally weak. Sentimentality will destroy them, at times...
...or save them. But he doesn't think of himself of the latter. He knows of all the worst that he is capable of. Though a part of him wonders if some day he can be at least a little stronger. Even if he doubts it.
He wonders if G'raha doubts his own strength. But, whatever the case... ]
...I'll leave the rest of the day to you. I've never been much good at lightening the mood.
[ Blade isn't much of a talker - never has been - and so, he will move to depart from the gardens. ]
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He doesn't say that, however, settling into a contemplative silence by the time Blade speaks up again.
Ah. He's already leaving. ]
I will see you in our suite, Blade. Enjoy your day.
week 2, wednesday
...look, this is how he is when he has items!! Anyway, it is later in the night, and he will be heading into the library for some peace and quiet.
Does anyone join him on the way there, or will he encounter someone else...? ]
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G'raha Tia, in fact! Hearing the sound of someone entering the library, he looks up... and is surprised to see that it's Blade. ]
Ah, I did not expect to see you in here, my friend.
[ is he saying blade doesn't read— ]
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Blade crosses his arms in hearing this, though, even if he doesn't raise a brow. ]
...And why is that?
[ He'll ask gruffly, but go to plops himself down at a desk as if to make a statement that says 'I am a regular occupant of this space'...sometimes, anyway. ]
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I don't picture you as the sort to sit down and read a tale or two.
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Okay, not really. He was never really much of a scholar, even if he doesn't remember much of his past. ]
...And here I am.
Did you come in here to read?
[ He asks, even when G'raha has seated himself. The funniest thing is that neither of them so happen to have a book with them, however. ]
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[ And yet he has no book with him, so like. That isn't a good look on his part. ]
You interrupted me before I could pick something to read.
[ Even though Blade entered quietly...... ]
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I won't fall for that. G'raha.
[ G'RAHA CALLED HIS BLUFF IT'S NOW TIME FOR HIM TO DO THE SAME... ]
1/3
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What?
done
[ he’s being attacked!!!!! ]
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I'm uncertain what an Archon is. Enlighten me.
...Though, you don't look to have been selecting anything to read. Unless it was to engage in unique research on how to do the exact opposite of studying.
[ G'raha is, in fact, being attacked. ]
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[ Gosh, don’t be ridiculous!! ]
An Archon is a high-ranking scholar in Sharlayan. Once you have completed a thesis of great import, you’re marked with the signifiers of an Archon.
[ He points to his neck. ]
These tattoos are Archon marks.
[ G’raha has another tattoo on his shoulder, too, which Blade has probably seen simply by sharing a living space. ]
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[ Blade will be as ridiculous as he so wishes.
As for the tattoos, he'll be glancing at them in brief consideration. He does recognize their sight easily enough. ]
...A high-ranking scholar. Any other titles I should know about?
[ Sounds like a joke, but he is curious. ]
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[ He says it with pride, like it’s a title he’s waited his whole life to earn.
…Which is technically too. But because Blade sounds like he’s joking, G’raha throws in an extra one for him: ]
Crystal Exarch. That title was bestowed upon me and not one I selected myself. Nor aimed for.
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Well, he supposes he did ask. Considering the response, though? He does so happen to note that there's that pride. One he seems to like better over the other. ]
...Fancy titles.
But, you prefer one over the other.
[ May as well confirm that...? ]
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Now, I do not hold it against my people for giving that title to me nor do I regret it. ‘Tis simply part of my past now.
[ He couldn’t regret it. Too many good things came of it. ]
I do have a preference, indeed. Having a title as part of a group is much more fitting for someone like myself.
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And rare does he see those who are able to look ahead, leaving the past as the past. Even among the Stellaron Hunters, that remains the case. ]
...Considering how you have been, your answer doesn't surprise me.
[ Now, more than ever, perhaps. ]
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[ The one that almost turned into an argument, he means. ]
I've no option but to leave the past behind. While I still carry my experiences within my heart, if I wanted to follow through on my desire to press forward, it was imperative I let many of my responsibilities go.
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...You mentioned something like leaving the past behind in that last conversation. And...
[ There's a pause as he lets it all sink in again. The previous conversation where they practically were on either sides of the subject. ]
...Now we're here. [ ... ] I had never underestimated you.
But, I never realized how strong you were, until that topic. I won't be surprised if you won't waver, whatever the future holds for everyone here.
Even if it's unacceptable.
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I...
[ G'raha's hand rubs along his forearm. A nervous habit. ]
You think too highly of me. I should rightfully caution you to temper your expectations of me.
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It is only what I thought to say.
[ Is all Blade says on the matter, it seems. He isn't here to convince G'raha otherwise; he just said it because he feels it is true.
Though, seeing how nervous he is, maybe...these are words he should leave to others to communicate...no, he will just leave it.
Blade's never been good with people. And he isn't sure what else to say. Good job, gold star. ]
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[ He's glad for it, and when that initial wave of embarrassment wears off he looks at Blade with a soft, sincere smile. ]
I daresay that, coming from an individual like yourself, those words feel that much more full of meaning.
[ Blade doesn't hold back on his opinions, after all. He'll say exactly what he feels and G'raha is glad for it.
Which also means that when his sentiments are kind, it flusters him that much more. ]
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Are they? Never imagined someone would say that of whatever words I had to give.
[ But, apparently this is the case.
Blade's more or less truthfully someone who doesn't hold back his opinions; though he is to the point about them in the first place. ]
...But, this time I know I didn't say anything unpleasant. If you think that way, the disappointment that eventually arrives from my future conduct will be worse. Though, for now, it isn't.
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[ And he'll worry about what-ifs when they happen. Fretting over it now serves neither of them, he thinks, and it's why he offers a gentle smile rather than a harsh or scolding tone like before. ]
I did have a topic I was hoping to broach with you, if you would hear of it.
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...You did.
[ Blade has...somewhat learned his lesson in that by now, beyond the practicality of not belaboring the matter, naturally, so he will say this; and, well, he is making some motions through how to interact with people (character development, maybe. Who knows.) But, on the other matter, he is a bit curious. ]
What is the topic?
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[ He lifts a hand to his chin. ]
Alisaie had transferred this treatment from the reflection of our star, where she treated individuals who were slowly losing their personhood and would eventually transform into a monster. [ He looks up at Blade. ] Both of these conditions were treatable by the method we uncovered.
So... I was wondering if this would be of interest to you. I wonder if it could uncover some of your memories.
[ G'raha pauses, sits back in his chair. ]
I apologize if I am overstepping, but I could not help but think back to this treatment as I pondered on your condition.
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Not to say things weren't rough, that he didn't...uh, explode pretty hard here or there, or something, but the fact that he sit here and listen to it at all means something. ]
...I don't understand how it works.
[ He is curious about the more intricate details of it. ]
Recalling my memories isn't normally a good idea. It tends to exacerbate my condition.
[ Mara, that is. Granted he has other complications like phantom pains, and all that too, but Mara is at the forefront of it all. ]
Kafka had a way to suppress that condition. If there was a method I could use to do that or, in the extreme unlikelihood, be rid of it entirely, this 'tempering'...would potentially be of benefit.
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[ He crosses his arms. ]
I will have to do my own research on the spell, as well as run tests to ensure that it would work and not exacerbate your symptoms. [ A pause. ] I would not run these tests on you.
The process is gradual. You likely will not feel anything new after two or three sessions.
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It's anyone's guess, really. A part of him wants to desperately recall his childhood. There is no mistaking it. There can't be. ]
Maybe not.
It's hard to tell.
...But in the worst case scenario, you could use your magic to deal with me accordingly, I assume. After all, anything can always go wrong.
Though, the fact you offered this means that you are already even mentally preparing yourself.
[ Which is pretty impressive. G'raha going to this length to lend such a hand to him...a part of him even wonders if he deserves it at all. ]
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[ His sword and shield are sturdy enough that they could withstand any attacks that Blade would send his way.
Hopefully. ]
Which is why... I want you to deliberate on this idea of mine seriously. There is no need to make a decision right this moment.
cw: suicidal ideation
...Good.
[ Now he is even more inclined to accept this. Due to other personal, unhealthy reasons haven't exactly vaporized completely as of yet. He doesn't say anything else on the matter. ]
I've decided. I would like to try this method of yours out...should we both live.
After all, there is no guarantee of anything before then.
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There is not, much less ensuring you can arrive in Eorzea safely after the fact. However... we will find a way.
[ He pauses, thoughtful. ]
If I could manage to do this for you, the difficulty of arranging it would be well worth it.
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Whatever happens, he is an important facet to his life. ]
...I don't think I deserve this much thought.
But, I know what you would say, so don't worry about wasting your breath.
[ A little sly smile. Blade is saying in his own words he is kind of grateful. He's a difficult man; and he still thinks he'll make G'raha regret his association with him, but...the red-haired man is continuously persistent in ways he is familiar with - once again - and doesn't mind too much. ]
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G'raha is, in fact, about to waste his breath and go on about friendship and what it means to him, so he quickly closes his mouth just after it opens. ]
Then I will not. So, I will instead give you some parting optimism.
[ A grin. ]
I know we can find a solution to your own issues.
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...He thinks, maybe, a certain someone was like that too. That person he's thinking of is no longer in the mortal coil, but that kind of exuberance matches the same kind by far. ]
I had a feeling you would say that.
Maybe things will be different now.
[ Blade then moves to the library's exit. ]
I suppose since I'll be depending upon you just a little...I'll have to remind you to do the same of me at some point.
[ He quickly leaves before he can be called a soft friend or something, but these are words that he said. ]
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Yeah, he can definitely depend on Blade. He knows it. ]
week 2, post-exe
...Instead, though, he goes to the observatory, and happens to spot G'raha.
Ah, he remembers this place. It's...the first night he spent with Siffrin. Alongside Dan Heng and Andrew.
...
It's not going to be easy, going forward, is it? ]
...G'raha.
[ He says his name first this time, to get his attention. ]
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Naturally, it doesn't.
But he lifts his head when Blade says his name... which, really, is a surprise. ]
Raha. I would prefer Raha, if you will.
[ They're friends, and after the hell they've been through these last two weeks, he feels Blade has earned dropping the "G". ]
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...Raha.
[ Blade repeats the name just so after that, testing its weight, the novelty of speaking it. He understands the significance - in Xianzhou culture there are more familiar ways to address people, depending. And although much of his memory as his time on the Xianzhou has faded, he is vaguely aware of this.
Who knew two weeks could cause such great change? But, he certainly feels that so happens to be the case here. ]
Keeping busy?
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Making an attempt.
[ But focusing is hard between the subject of the execution and the events during. His thoughts race and his mind can barely keep up, to the point that the numbers and words on the scrolls turn into nothing meaningful. ]
I presume that you are as well?
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He gestures instead towards the telescope. ]
Taking a look towards the sky might distract better than scrolls.
[ Blade is...actually for once trying to lend a hand. He doesn't think it'll work, but there is something to be said for making an attempt. Even if it will amount to nothing.
Such to that point, he answers G'raha's question just fine. ]
I was restless. Keeping busy is the only way to try to reach something like the illusion of satisfaction. Even if it will be far from my reach.
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Blade is right, though. Looking at the sky will help him more than anything else, even if...
Part of it serves as a reminder, in a way, but perhaps that's also what he needs right this moment. ]
Allow me to hazard a guess. You will not be satisfied until Ish has met his end.
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[ Blade certainly hears that in the midst of all this. Oh, he knows what would bring him satisfaction alright. ]
...I've made it clear that it's what I want. I've also made it clear I would be fine with another conclusion.
It depends on which one will be fulfilled.
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...As long as we can ensure that nothing like this ever occurs again, whatever may come to pass afterward will come to pass.
[ G'raha will always allow for mercy when a party intends to abide by the rules of said mercy, but he wouldn't blame anyone who chose to kill Ish either. ]
I refuse to see another innocent life be lost.
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...Though, that doesn't change his perspective on him. Not in the slightest. So, he lets out at first a dark chuckle to G'raha's initial response, knowing the other man disagrees with his methods. But at the second comment... ]
You're being overly optimistic again.
[ A little smile, despite the little bit of mania a short bit ago, though. His moods change like the wind; but he can't help that aspect. ]
Maybe...if you keep at it, everyone else will be convinced to do the same. There isn't much to be done if people keep acting, but I know as part of a team, morale is important. With the Stellaron Hunters, we were balanced by keeping our wits about us - and even if I couldn't always manage it, our minds clear.
[ Blade can't believe he's saying this. He will absolutely deny it himself in public, though. ]
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It's definitely more than G'raha ever anticipated, his eyes widening and his ears flicking slightly. ]
My hope is that everyone would follow suit, but like you, I have my doubts. [ He smiles, somewhat sheepish. ] I have held leadership roles before, but this is quite different. Ensuring that morale remains high will be difficult, and understandably so. We've lost an innocent, after all.
[ Not only morale, but he knows there's tension that permeates the group too. He can see it during trials, sense it during other interactions. ]
I have no hope that in a few days' time we won't see another body. But mayhap we can end this cycle not long after.
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Anyway, Blade's more or less in a space of some sort - what happened still isn't so distant, but it's balanced out by the fact that the showing of willpower indicated they're not powerless. Something bittersweet, although initially frustrating in of itself, but still tangible. ]
It'll take awhile.
[ For some people's spirits to bounce back. Some may not do so at all and he recognizes this. He isn't a fool. He can't be. And...he knows what happened recently did well in causing animosity to form. Still. ]
As for ending the cycle, that will depend on the mindset of others. What will convince everyone most is playing along isn't worth it.
[ That, perhaps, more than anything, may be the hardest challenge to clear. But, well, Blade would like to say spite more than hope is what compels him right now. ]
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[ Watching Siffrin die after their last meeting was... nearly more than he could handle, and it was only made bearable by Siffrin's own demonstration of willpower in managing to illustrate that Ish was not infallible or indestructible. ]
As for what would convince everyone else... I do not know. I fear we may be too far gone to expect nothing to happen after what we witnessed. Yet I believe we will break this cycle nevertheless. We must.
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And okay, admittedly, he wasn't the person in Stellaron Hunters to get people to be happy or motivated. But, he doesn't need to be anything different.
He thinks...he just needs to be himself. ]
Not surprised even yours was down.
[ Even so, he says this. G'raha's tough spirit is what helped him truck along, probably. ]
...I'm not good at convincing anyone of anything. At best, I'm a weapon.
But, I've done intelligence gathering on orders before. Maybe, if I focus my efforts there and spread what I learn, that can convince others, and they would be able to move on to their own plans from there. [ He huffs. ] Sounds naive, but it's the best plan I have.
And I'm no strategist, either.
[ Blade looks at G'raha as he says this. Ironically, he supposes it's a loose plan. Empowering people to take action with knowledge; maybe in the end, someone can come up with a solution that helps them do something. It...might be enough to circle around to helping in breaking the cycle, but he's still not the type to say hope springs eternal. ]
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[ And if the soft smile that blooms over his face certainly expresses his sincerity. ]
I would be honored to assist you as well. 'Tis important that we do everything in our power to ensure that we break this cycle. I would like to save as many as we can... even if I have no inkling where to begin.
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[ A gruff response, yet he is trying to handle such expressions with grace in his own way. Though...he's glad he can make him smile. That gentle spot of happiness is a good sign - however, he refuses to become too sentimental here. ]
Then...we'll continue to navigate this together.
I won't accept no results from our efforts.
[ It's like accepting a long version of a mission as a Stellaron Hunter. Come to think of it, if he's visiting that place for a bit, he supposes G'raha might meet them someday. Just an idle thought. ]
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[ Even if it happens once, twice, three times more. They'll get this figured out.
They have to. ]
I take it you dislike losing, Blade? I am not much for competition, but I refuse to give up without first giving my all.
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Blade looks at G'raha for a moment - especially when he mentions the part about him not liking losing. It gives rise to something like a spark of amusement, perhaps. Or, somehow, encouragement. ]
Not right now.
Even if giving up is easy.
[ But, funny enough, there is no intention of that on his end, despite, you know what lies ahead in the future. ]
But, I don't intend to lose. Like a fight or a mission. And those, I give it my all. This will be no different.
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[ He's curious what a Blade that fights for a good cause looks like. Will he be sharp and focused and pointed, an embodiment of his name? ]
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Funny, he never thought too much about how many crimes he's committed as a Stellaron Hunter. But here, it'd be doing something otherwise. ]
...It should be.
[ An echo of his previous self's arrogance - or maybe just plain good confidence. ]
Looking forward to your efforts as well. You said you'll give it your all too. You seem to get noteworthy results. So, it will be disappointing if you suddenly started to slack.
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It's nice. It makes the sting of the trial and the execution and all of its aftermath a little less painful. ]
You really put a large amount of faith in me, friend. I only hope that I can live up to the high standard you have set.
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Blade's...grateful to G'raha for so many things. Even if it has only been two weeks, the man has done more for him than some people he has known longer than the red head.
Though, he thinks this all isn't conditionally based on owing a debt. It feels natural. ]
...We'll see.
[ Blade adds, though, with a little playful smirk and a slight tease, but good-hearted all the while. Though, around this time he begins to inquire to the other if he has found any intriguing books on craftsmanship...and whatever light conversation they have, he will engage until they part ways.
(This is a wrap!) ]
week 3, post-exec
Raha. We have unfinished business to speak on.
[ ...why can't this man start a conversation normally? We just never know. ]
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It's too bad he's in one of the corners of the library and he is, very literally, cornered. It takes a moment or two for him to be pulled out of his book, but Blade speaking and announcing his presence at all is enough to do that. ]
...Pray tell, what might that be?
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Alright, jokes aside, the irony about this being a literal thing is not lost in the slightest. ]
...The photo from before.
I wanted to know more about why you hid it. The history.
[ He doesn't know how else to ask; he will just wait to see G'raha's reaction from him starting into it. ]
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Seems like going right for it is the right method, because even though G'raha's tail flicks in a way that betrays his hesitance, he eventually sighs and looks up at Blade. ]
Ah. I should have predicted you would consult me over it.
[ He smiles, sheepish and yet amused all the same, as he shuts his book. ]
'Tis recent history. That photo was from last Saturday.
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G'raha...Blade's expression is curious as he watches his reactions, but he doesn't really intend to hold back, crossing his arms. ]
I don't like not knowing, when I could understand more from you.
[ It's a simple conveying of words, but the message is clear. ]
Recent history involving what?
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It's... genuinely a sweet sentiment, one that G'raha finds he can't really argue against either.
But he does look away, like he's distracted by the act of putting the book back onto the shelf. ]
Siffrin.
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Oh, he gets it.
Hiding a personal photo involving someone else, immediate puzzle pieces begin to slot into place. Plus, he looked away like how Dan Heng does when he gets embarrassed.
He can conclude only one thing: ]
Now I understand why they asked me about the color red.
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Oh.
That makes his heart stutter in his chest, quick and irregular. ]
Did they?
[ He still doesn't look at Blade. ]
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[ Blade's words are uttered like condemnation - but they aren't.
It's impossible for that to be the case, considering. ]
Nothing wrong with that.
[ He'll add, though still quite amused. ]
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[ AHEM.
Sorry, he’s still very resolutely not looking at Blade. ]
This would be far easier were it not for your… tone.
[ Stop being amused!!! ]
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[ Blade holds up a hand and turns away. He's about actually a second from bursting into laughter (that would still sound quite dark) and not sounding unhinged.
Is that better? ]
Congratulations, Raha.
[ It's not too late to end him. ]
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[ PLEASE HE'S SO EMBARRASSED. ]
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Oh, it's definitely rough, but there is no mistaking the sound. ]
...Couldn't help it.
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He's fine with Blade laughing. It's preferable to his mania by far. ]
To speak honestly, Blade, my own feelings caught me by surprise. I carried a torch for a friend that remains home, and I have carried it for so long that it nearly burdened me.
[ Finally deciding to stop busying himself with putting that book away, he turns around to look at Blade properly. ]
I was content with remaining friends. [ A pause. ] With the Warrior of Light, I mean. Yet there was always some sort of obstacle that would hold me back.
[ The Warrior of Light has many burdens, pining for someone for over a century is not exactly healthy, feeling small next to someone so important and well-loved...
He had many reasons. ]
Strange that I did not feel that same hesitation with Siffrin, in spite of all of the qualities they both share.
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But, he sure is listening. Oh, the kitty cat had something of a crush, huh...?
Though, it sounded complex. Complicated, even.
The Warrior of Light does not sound like a title nor a mantle that is worn by just anybody. And it must have quite a bit of history to accompany it. ]
...It could be different, because there's a different history. And, a layered one.
[ The pull is nevertheless never so much less than the one G'raha felt towards Warrior of Light, but he thinks the experiences might have been a big difference. ]
I'm not an expert in the heart. Even if it could be enough.
...But, it's good it's Siffrin. They'll treat you well.
[ Blade doesn't have to put a sword at their throat and threaten Siffrin to treat G'raha well. Bullet dodged there as well. ]
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As a scholar, he craves the adventure that comes from it. ]
Indeed. [ He smiles, slightly, but it disappears soon after. ] My only hope is that we can free him and the rest of those that have perished. I certainly overstayed my welcome in the Reflexion after the carnival, but 'twas still not nearly enough time.
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...Or maybe that is unfortunately his mind getting away from himself when he is indulging in levity. What are these people doing to him... ]
...Doubt he minded you overstaying. Just ask him.
[ He says this without a semblance of doubt in him. ]
Truth is, I'm not sure how to free or save them. I haven't done anything like that before. Like this, before.
But, wouldn't be surprised if it isn't impossible to free trapped spirits.
[ It'd be like those exorcist stories on the Xianzhou. Not that he reads them! But he knows they exist. ]
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I believe Sabo mentioned something akin to the dead being located somewhere within the mirrors, and Yoonhee's information about various reflections seemed to corroborate it. I imagine our clues lie there. Although how we are meant to breach those reflections is another story entirely.
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Not sure.
There could be a way of entry we don't know at the moment.
Since this space is unstable.
[ It'd make sense to him. Find a spot that'd make them able to enter - like, you know, safely? But Blade is willing to take risks. He's always been about that (even if Dan Heng is probably ratshaking him from afar for being like this.) ]
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[ So, he's thinking along the same lines as Blade here. ]
A risk, certainly, but one that I am willing to take.
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They are evidently quite aligned here. ]
It's good that neither of us see fit to shy away from risks. Then again, I never thought of you as a coward.
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And I never considered you one either, friend. Though you did underestimate me upon our first meeting, I imagine your view of me has since been adjusted.
[ But there's a teasing undercurrent to his tone. ]
Between the both of us, I imagine we will see things through regardless of the danger involved. 'Twould be nothing I haven't faced before, certainly, and I'm sure the same can be applied to you.
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Then he closes it, before crossing his arms. He realizes he's being teased here. ]
...I have no idea what you're talking about.
[ Blade is briefly pouting again...he doesn't know why he reacts like this whenever he is teased, but he just can't help it. Anyway. ]
I'd say you're right. But I can't say I experienced being tossed into a place where I was encouraged to kill people and be duplicitous about it before this.
[ He thinks...he tried to joke, though his humor still sucks. So: ]
...The other potential dangers, though. Yes. Dangerous supernatural phenomena can be conquered with enough thought and skill.
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I've never had experience with anything like this before either, and I would like to think I have experienced many, many things.
[ So, like, this is a new one.
But he crosses his arms. ]
Thought and skill, precisely. Which means we need to do our best to think about every one of our actions.
[ He knows....... Blade does not always do that.... ]